Sent to me by a Canadian friend
Subject: FW: The Thermodynamics of Hell
This is why I love University students.
Subject: The Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is
Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
We need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
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