Chrystal,

I do not hate the holidays. I look forward to them every year. However, I've had
the privilege of growing up with middle-income parents who didn't have to worry
about not being able to afford nice big meals and gifts. I feel terrible for
people who don't have that luxury. Perhaps that's one reason I've gone into
sociology and support democratic socialism.

One thing that has long bothered me is the issue you raise in your second
posting: Why do affluent people only give once a year? What happened to the
other 364 days in the calendar? Personally, I've come to the view that these
people have it backwards. Holidays should be the one time to be a bit selfish
and indulge yourself. In contrast, the rest of the year should be dedicated to
making the world a better place - to ensure that everyone has everything they
need, so that we all have the luxury of relaxing and enjoying the holidays.

I also think your posting is very relevant to this listserv. One of the key
determinants of health is social exclusion, and it's clear that you and many
other low-income women feel excluded this time of year because of your economic
situation. Poverty, and the social and political conditions that permit it to
exist, day in and day out, are 'evil'. But the generous spirit that some people
find deep inside themselves this time of year is not. We need to find a way to
harness that spirit and get them to generalize it throughout the year so that
you too - and not just you, but all low-income people, the homeless in
shelters, Aboriginals on reserves, refugees in bleak urban apartments - can
enjoy physical, mental and social well-being and celebrate the holidays of your
choosing the way they should be celebrated. Until then, the rest of us cannot
truly rest in good conscience. I think that's your point. But I also suspect
that most of the people on this listserv are dedicated to making the world a
better place and should not feel too bad about sharing some hearty meals and
laughs with friends and family over the holidays. Perhaps you even have
low-income friends or relatives like Chrystal and will do all you can to share
your resources and make them feel included - not just at Christmas, but
year-round.

Jeff

--
Jeff Denis
PhD Student
Department of Sociology
Harvard University

"The principle of organizing our society for the benefit of all the people and
not for a privileged few - that is still here and that is a principle to which
we adhere." - Tommy C. Douglas



Quoting Chrystal Ocean <[log in to unmask]>:

> It's interesting that my original 'I hate the holidays' post was taken as a
> philosophical point to be discussed, and therefore subject to dispute,
> rather than what it was - a message straight from the heart, from myself and
> my community. What I wrote is how we feel. Others obviously do not feel the
> way we do about the holidays, but I'd no more challenge their feelings than
> they should challenge ours.
>
> My second post, about once-a-year gift giving, drew the most ire, as
> evidenced by the public and private messages I've received. The majority of
> writers were highly selective in what they took from that post - e.g.,
> ignoring the 'once-a-year' qualifier and equating my words to be stamping
> such givers as "evil" (yes, they used that word).
>
> Of interest to researchers may be a tally of the public and private
> responses I received to those two posts.
>
> Total received thus far: 15
> Number of positives (thank-yous, bravos, etc): 6
> Number of negatives (disagrees, how-dare-yous, etc.): 9
>
> With the exception of one person, the positives were from other people who
> currently live in poverty. How I appreciated your support!
>
> The negative responses were all from people who do not now live in poverty.
> Some reported having lived in poverty at some time in their lives, or they
> know someone who lives in poverty, or they work with people in poverty.
>
> Anyone else see the pattern?
>
> Among the negative comments was that an 'I hate the holidays' post from
> someone marginalized by poverty, who was writing on behalf of herself and
> others in her marginalized community, was inappropriate for this listserv.
> Seems they may be right.
>
> Ocean, WISE Coordinator
> http://www.wise-bc.org/
>
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