IT SEEMS SOME LIGHT HEARTEDNESS IS IN ORDER
Thanks to gilles seguin

Physician Diagnoses

*********************


The following quotes were taken
from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:


By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was
feeling better.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had
completely disappeared.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of gas and crashed.

Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like
to work her up.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.


Source:
http://strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/diagnoses.html

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