Normally I enjoy Dr. Bowman's commentary and frequently agree with his
premises. This one, however, appears to have been written by an
unreconstructed curmudgeon. I hardly know where to start.
First, single women may be mothers, so the issue is not "moot".
Yes, but in my sentence context the single women did not have children
In that
situation, the full responsibility for the support and nurturing of the
children fall on the shoulders of the woman, unless there are extended
family members willing to help. Many single mothers raise outstanding
children.
Yes, and in the case of my family, usually because someone (my wife mostly
sometimes me) steps in for the child unable to nurture (my daughter)
Second, since when is the responsibility for nurturing the children the
sole responsibility of women? Hello? Are not fathers also responsible?
Fathers were included, as in my son in the more recent email
If "children and family are destroyed," then both parents must be held
responsible. Are men who do not participate in nurturing "free?" The
parenting role of fathers is not an afterthought.
What does "free" mean?
this was my point, when freedom becomes more important than nurturing,
society is disrupted. male freedom and male role in society is a huge
problem currently
It is sad that so many parents in this society do not understand
nurturing and what is needed to meet the social/emotional needs of young
children. It should be a standard part of high school curricula.
physicians who have not suffered are unlikely to understand suffering, or
medicine. Service orientation and professionalism are difficult or
impossible to train in when the physician does not have this before medical
school. Nurturing is likely in the same category, which makes it so
devastating and progressive. When children are not nurtured, they are less
likely to know how to nurture. The earliest years of life are often the
best nurturing prep, as seen in the play of little girls and also little
boys if we do not stereotype them too much. Refresher courses are not a bad
idea, but we of course try to cram as much science, math, and verbal as
possible for those remaining in high school
But
don't blame women who do not spend their full time nurturing their
children during their early years for problems children face later in
life. Many factors go into that outcome. Unfortunately, a good many
children whose mothers were at home with them during the early years did
not get what they need from either parent and end up alienated from
their families.
Yes there are child, parent, and interaction factors (environment, society)
Some children are easy, some parents are gifted, some are experienced,
others have help, others are isolated, some match their kids, others don't,
regardless of the beginning, children can become alienated, but hopefully
not alienated and in bad shape in other areas.
I must have written this strangely (disconnectedly) as it seems to have
elicited different impressions with different filling in my gaps in some
interesting ways.
Bob Bowman
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