Hello all...
well - you are asking about women's health issues.
there are resources - and good for it!!! needed for a long time methinks...
thoughts re: a woman's life, when we lose our partners. and most of us
women do lose our partners.
from my perspective.
Is there 'research' on that?
I'm not sure there is great compassion or desire to understand this
experience and what it costs us.
Is it there - - - is that a silence in the 'literature' (as much silence
as in our culture)
perhaps I'm wrong about both.
it's below my signature - for those who might be interested.
best
DB
My beautiful partner died almost 3 years ago of a brain tumour.
It is a terrible journey...his losing his health and his life
this world losing someone who was so good for it......
The trauma counsellors talk of "closure" and "moving on".
I don't think we ever lose the great moments of our life, be they joy,
sorrow, grief, exhaltation...
I don't think we "close" or "move on".
Whatever those great moments may be, they stay with us--they wax and
wane, but they are never far.
I continue with life, one foot in front of the other.....
When people ask how are you doing?...
I say "I'm doing quite well' and smile.
Most folks don't want (nor should they have to) to listen to my sadness
And.. in many ways, it's reminding myself, that life is for the living.
so keep moving forward, keep rising again.
So..... a truthful commentary.....
what I don't tell others most of the time....
I am doing quite well.
I'm well......on top of a deep and still underlying sorrow.
it is not a surprise.
It is part of life after losing a love.
the sorrow is part being at a loss of finding my own purpose and ways again
I know that is happening somewhat, and my life will continue to rise....
and part sorry for myself ..
financially - I have had to make changes (sell our house, move, loss of
of 1+year of income)
ah me...really digging deep re: so many losses and 'having to start over
yet again'
Reality check: I'm sooooo fortunate to be able to start over again.
and part wishing that my dear man would be alive... for his own sake to
enjoy the life that he just loved!!!
and sweet memories of things we did together
and wishing/wondering what else or how better I could have done for him
that last year.
and tempering that with knowing again and again...
we do our best with what we have and who we are at the moment...
and I did many manymany good things for and with him and for us, that
last year.
and I'm still tired ...so very tired... from all of the above.
overall,
I'm doing quite well......
yish... 'me me me me...'
There are so many women (most of us actually) throughout the world and
history -
who have gone down this same road .
each in their own way.
I'm in 'good company'.
For so many women - their roads are waaaaaaaaaaay more difficult than mine.
So, my heart goes out to all of us, for it is a difficult road.
(yes - hopefully with beautiful moments along the way!!!)
And I think, most people don't know (or acknowledge) the heartache and
courage it demands.
It is sort of 'taken for granted'
.....'that's just the way it is'.... so 'buck up and get on with it'.
At least, that's what I feel I hear or sense from others....
So, it is good for us to help each other to find joy and so helpful to
receive respectful compassion along the way.
Does the health sector do any research on the journey of a real heart of
a woman?
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