Staying at home with your children is not the only form of
self-sacrifice a woman can make. Leaving a relationship to make a
healthier environment for her children is incredibly selfless. Gaining
education to provide a better future for her children is very selfless
and difficult. Ensuring that her children have equal opportunities to
those around them, and supporting them in their endeavours can be very
selfless.
Patty
-----Original Message-----
From: Social Determinants of Health [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of
Cathleen Kneen
Sent: Friday, August 03, 2007 3:14 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Quote?
One might say there is substantial confusion among "freedom",
"priviledge", and in this case, "self-indulgence". Though I hardly call
it self-indulgence when a woman insists upon working in order to support
her offspring.
C
Young, Catherine Susan wrote:
> I must admit I was taken aback by the message myself. I think that
> Dr. Bowman's root concern might be better titled 'The unintended
> consequences of freedom visited upon the nations today.' In my mind,
> "freedom" refers in this case to the overblown pursuit of
> individuality and independence to the neglect of human
> interconnectedness and interdependence. Women being allowed to pursue
> this ideal is not really the issue. A disregard for the resources
> that families and communities need to raise healthy children is. So
> is a general undervaluing of caretaking. When feeling particularly
combative, I like to substitute 'caretaking' for 'children,' since that
is the unfortunate end result. No one likes to admit that, but children
are called
> 'dependents' for a reason.
>
> Katie
>
> Quoting "Osterud, Dru" <[log in to unmask]>:
>
> Normally I enjoy Dr. Bowman's commentary and frequently agree with
> his premises. This one, however, appears to have been written by an
> unreconstructed curmudgeon. I hardly know where to start.
>
> First, single women may be mothers, so the issue is not "moot". In
> that situation, the full responsibility for the support and nurturing
> of the children fall on the shoulders of the woman, unless there are
> extended family members willing to help. Many single mothers raise
> outstanding children.
>
> Second, since when is the responsibility for nurturing the children
> the sole responsibility of women? Hello? Are not fathers also
> responsible? If "children and family are destroyed," then both
> parents must be held responsible. Are men who do not participate in
> nurturing "free?" The parenting role of fathers is not an
> afterthought.
>
> What does "free" mean?
>
> It is sad that so many parents in this society do not understand
> nurturing and what is needed to meet the social/emotional needs of
> young children. It should be a standard part of high school
> curricula. But don't blame women who do not spend their full time
> nurturing their children during their early years for problems
> children face later in life. Many factors go into that outcome.
> Unfortunately, a good many children whose mothers were at home with
> them during the early years did not get what they need from either
parent and end up alienated from
> their families.
>
>
> Dru Osterud
> Minnesota
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Social Determinants of Health [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
> Of Robert C Bowman
> Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2007 3:53 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: [SDOH] Quote?
>
> The unintended consequences of freedom for women are visited upon the
> nations today.
>
> The welfare of women and children remains one of the best measures of
> civilized society. The measure of the nurturing and child development
> experience is most likely the best, particularly when the focus
> involves the members of society that are most socially isolated.
>
> The concepts of freedom for women and the welfare of women differ.
>
> In the single woman, the issues are moot. When women become mothers,
> there is a different situation. Mothers will continue to find that too
> much freedom destroys children and the family.
>
> Women that provide a superior nurturing environment for their
> children for the early critical years, usually through their own
> efforts (although other cultural and financial arrangments can be
> made). Will truly be free in the future as their children are the
> most likely to be self-sustaining.
>
> Women that decide to impose their freedom at the cost of nurturing
> their children, run the risk that they will never be truly free.
>
> Economic desperation and survival may force alternative arrangements
> for nurturing, with the same consequences as too much "freedom"
>
> Fathers are not immune to these areas either. A world designed for
> maximal freedom with minimal responsibility does not help parenting.
>
> The stability of nurturing must be insured by at least one parent. In
> more and more instances the grandparents are being called in because
> of inadequate parents.
>
> Efficient, effective, and equitable societies (and families, and
> cities...) begin with superior nurturing. Efficient, effective, and
> affordable health care begins with adults who were nurtured and
> because of this make better decisions in life, in health care, in
> jobs, in education, and more.
>
> Signed as a parent of adopted children including some that were not
> effectively nurtured in the first months of life.
>
> Robert C. Bowman, M.D.
> [log in to unmask]
>
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--
Cathleen Kneen
2746 Cassels Street
Ottawa, ON K2B 6N7
613-828-6047
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