Normally I enjoy Dr. Bowman's commentary and frequently agree with his
premises.  This one, however, appears to have been written by an
unreconstructed curmudgeon.  I hardly know where to start.

First, single women may be mothers, so the issue is not "moot".  In that
situation, the full responsibility for the support and nurturing of the
children fall on the shoulders of the woman, unless there are extended
family members willing to help. Many single mothers raise outstanding
children.

Second, since when is the responsibility for nurturing the children the
sole responsibility of women?  Hello?  Are not fathers also responsible?
If "children and family are destroyed," then both parents must be held
responsible.  Are men who do not participate in nurturing "free?"  The
parenting role of fathers is not an afterthought.

What does "free" mean?

It is sad that so many parents in this society do not understand
nurturing and what is needed to meet the social/emotional needs of young
children.  It should be a standard part of high school curricula.  But
don't blame women who do not spend their full time nurturing their
children during their early years for problems children face later in
life.  Many factors go into that outcome.  Unfortunately, a good many
children whose mothers were at home with them during the early years did
not get what they need from either parent and end up alienated from
their families.    


Dru Osterud
Minnesota

-----Original Message-----
From: Social Determinants of Health [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of
Robert C Bowman
Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2007 3:53 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: [SDOH] Quote?

The unintended consequences of freedom for women are visited upon the
nations today.

The welfare of women and children remains one of the best measures of
civilized society. The measure of the nurturing and child development
experience is most likely the best, particularly when the focus involves
the members of society that are most socially isolated.

The concepts of freedom for women and the welfare of women differ.

In the single woman, the issues are moot. When women become mothers,
there is a different situation. Mothers will continue to find that too
much freedom destroys children and the family.

Women that provide a superior nurturing environment for their children
for the early critical years, usually through their own efforts
(although other cultural and financial arrangments can be made). Will
truly be free in the future as their children are the most likely to be
self-sustaining.

Women that decide to impose their freedom at the cost of nurturing their
children, run the risk that they will never be truly free.

Economic desperation and survival may force alternative arrangements for
nurturing, with the same consequences as too much "freedom"

Fathers are not immune to these areas either. A world designed for
maximal freedom with minimal responsibility does not help parenting.

The stability of nurturing must be insured by at least one parent. In
more and more instances the grandparents are being called in because of
inadequate parents.

Efficient, effective, and equitable societies (and families, and
cities...) begin with superior nurturing. Efficient, effective, and
affordable health care begins with adults who were nurtured and because
of this make better decisions in life, in health care, in jobs, in
education, and more.

Signed as a parent of adopted children including some that were not
effectively nurtured in the first months of life.

Robert C. Bowman, M.D.
[log in to unmask]

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