Kevin,

Thank you in advance for your kindness as demonstrated in your, "Please
send me a carbuncle" program.

And let me begin by assuming that this is not an actual carbuncle, but
merely a story relating to a carbuncle.  Since I currently have no Twain
collection, this piece will hold an honored part in it.

Sadly, this writer is without anything to trade.  A few years ago, I had
a grand splinter, which I got oiling a bookcase.  Unfortunately the
physician who removed it cast it aside.  And much like the carbuncle in
Twain legend, my splinter was, at first, mistaken for a boil at . . .
hm, let me see, no, it never was mistaken.  Both my wife and I knew what
it was right from the beginning.  It had such a sudden and forthright
origin.  Splinters are like that.

Sincerely,
Horace J. Digby