THE NEW, REVISED STORY OF THE BAD LITTLE BOY
Well, we all have invested much
in defending Huckleberry Finn.
But times are changin' & S.C. will be in deeper dutch.
Other dangers await P.C. opinion.
Fer example, when a six-year old needs a lawyer
for pecking a girl on the cheek
you know boys like our friend Tom Sawyer
will be targeted by P.C. elite.
I have visions of schoolboy pranks
being denounced on public tv
& all the whitewash on St. Pete's fences
won't M. Twain's sins unbury.
I see pink papers at the MLA
finding symbols in Tom Sawyer's cave.
After all, Tom led Becky astray
in a 19th century glass ceiling way.
I can hear the fire of neo-Aunt Polly's ire
saying Tom strung Becky along.
& when the string ran out, there is no doubt
little Tom was wrong
for allowing his candle
Mr. Dobbin's anatomy book, of course
precurssed nude bodies on the internet uncouth.
Ah, Mr. Twain takes us right to the source
of misguided acceptance of youth.
So how can a boy be blamed for the sin
of affectionating a girl
when the origins of his chauvinism begin
written by a masculine churl.
So gird up your loins, my brothers & sons
and prepare for learned defense
of a boy & his heirs who will soon be known
for whitewashing a phallic fence.
(Moral: N'er be tempted by half-eaten apples
whether offered by woman or man.
Trust no one under 30--under 10 they have no scruples,
we've fallen from Grace again.
& she's P.C. P.O.'d 'bout it too.)