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From:
Terrell Dempsey <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Mark Twain Forum <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 11 Oct 2002 05:18:11 -0500
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Of course any trip to Hannibal should include a trip to F*****a.  In fact,
if John over at the birthsite would agree to the same reasonable shill fee
that the Hannibal attractions pay me, I would have been glad to have
mentioned it in my posting. Here is a complimentary one, John:
http://www.mostateparks.com/twainsite.htm  (I'll drop by later for a six
pack and a large channel cat off the trot-line -- you clean it, of course.)
    Regarding the car/ferry idea, it has been several years since the ferry
at Canton last sank. Should it happen again, please be advised that I also
practice personal injury and wrongful death law in both Illinois and
Missouri. If the ferry starts going down in the middle, swim east before
drowning because Illinois juries give bigger verdicts. Please print out this
e-mail and leave it with a loved one within one degree of consanguinity or
pin it to your shirt before the crossing so your decedents will know to hire
me.
    Try not to let your carcass wash up on one of the islands because some
of them are federal. Then we have to deal with John Ashcroft. That is just a
whole new complicated can of worms. He lost his senate seat to a dead man in
his last election here in Missouri.  That should have been a clue... Your
body is likely to end up in a reefer truck in Cuba, your wrongful death case
held before a secret tribunal on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific, and the
point is you might never, ever get to go to F*****a and get to see the
birthsite.
    Or something like that.

Terrell

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