Mark-- To many people in the majority in the United States, racism is a meta-reality; to a significant number of others it's a plain old reality. All of the examples you cited are fascinating instances of insensitivity or coping, but they don't come close to being the same kind of thing as racism. I objected to the use of the term "white enough" for the same reason I would object to someone using the term "nigger" as a value judgment. In order, blond jokes single out a group that enjoys a relative privilege based on perceived beauty; the joke about dyslexic agnotic insomniacs is not about a group or groups who have been systematically discriminated against-- indeed this joke is a linguistic joke and has nothing to do with religion, though I'm guessing some fundamentalists might take offense anyway; and last, your point about how people use humor as a way to deal with heartbreaking loss is an interesting one, but has nothing at all to do with the topic. Those who employ a racialized term like "white enough" may think they're using an innocuous term--a simple word game to you--but it contains an implication that devalues those who aren't "honored" by having been born white. I imagine others may have more pithy remarks on this topic, but I'm simply asking that we be concerned and thoughtful about the language we use, whether as game or in serious discourse. It doesn't seem too much to ask of a group who come together to think about someone who was a master of language. Please accept my best regards for you and your family; I know the toll that chronic, degenerative disease can take. I also know that the humor that caregivers and sometimes the patients themselves may find in their conditions is not at the expense of those afflicted with the disease. --LH