At the risk of beating a dead horse... here's my favorite excuse I've
ever been given:
"I was coming, but I went to the bathroom in my pants."

No subject, no further explanation offered.  (And, none required,
requested, etc.)

Michael


On Tue, Sep 28, 2010 at 10:09 AM, John Davis <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> As of today (9/28/10), you have--with three consecutive absences--exceeded
> the maximum number (four, excused and unexcused, in TTh clsseas) permitted
> in English courses, specifically English 101J, and, therefore, have failed
> the course because of excessive absences (5).  If you wish to appeal the
> attendance policy, you should immediately contact Dr. Ken Wolfskill,
> Division Head, and present your reasons to be reinasted to the course.
> Official excuses for absences are to be obtained from Lloyd Lee
> Wilson, University Registrar.  If Dr. Wolfskill rejects your appeal, you may
> further appeal to Dr. Larry Frazier, Dean of Arts and Sciences, and beyond
> him to Dr. Danny Moore, Provost.
>
> --
> John H. Davis, Ph.D.
> Professor of English
> Department of Language and Literature
> Chowan University
> Murfreesboro, North Carolina 27855
>