The future of writing is in the hands of the computerized grammar-checkers. This is a certainty. For those who scoff at such an advanced notion I give evidence of the computerized grammar-checker's current state of development. The following is Mark Twain's epic piece, "The Bee" after grammar-checking. The Bee by Mark Twin [Twain] ["Twain" was not in the dictionary. Suggestions were Twin, Twine, Train. I choose Twin as the logical and stunningly astute choice.] It was Maeterlinck who introduced me to the bee. [Maeterlinck was not in the dictionary and no suggestion was given except to "ignore" Maeterlinck. Maeterlinck once won the Nobel prize for literature but this is of no importance to a grammar-checker. After a short whiskey to brace myself, I left Maeterlinck in there, consequences be damned!] I mean, in the psychical and in the poetical way. I had had a business introduction earlier. It was when I was a boy. It is strange that I should remember a formality like that so long; it must be nearly sixty years. Bee scientists always speak of the bee as she. It is because all the important bees are of that sex. In the hive there is one married bee, called the monarch [queen]; [the word "queen" was changed to "monarch" as it was too "gender specific". I failed to see why a "queen" shouldn't be specific gender, namely female! Then, after two more whiskeys, I began to see that some "queens" may not!! Queen Elizabeth I, for example, was very likely William Shakespeare, who in turn was Lord Bacon. The point is that a grammar-checker never looks under a skirt; it wouldn't be polite.) she has fifty thousand children; of these, about one hundred are sons; the rest are daughters. Some of the daughters are young housekeepers [young maids], some are old housekeepers [old maids], and all are virgins and remain so. ["housekeepers" was suggested for "young maids" and "old maids", the former being too "gender specific" and the later being sexist! Draining off another whiskey, I reasoned that Joan of Arc was a notorious housekeeper! Was she not? She saved France with a dustpan! There's no offense in that dustpan as it was of no particular age and no particular sex to speak of...no...that dustpan knocked your brains out with a flawless grammar!] Every spring the monarch [queen] comes out of the hive and flies away with one of her sons and marries him. The honeymoon lasts only an hour or two; then the monarch [queen] divorces her spouse [husband] and returns home competent to lay two million eggs. This will be enough to last the year, but not more than enough, because hundreds of bees become drowned [get drowned] every day, and other hundreds are eaten by birds, and it is the monarch's [queen's] business to keep the population up to standard - - [-] say, fifty thousand. [Notice that the grammar-checker inserted an extra dash in this sentence. At first, I thought I was seeing double from all the whiskey for I knew that Mark Twain only used one dash to punctuate this sentence. I could not understand that blasphemous second dash until I realized the startling truth! It is now safe to re-punctuate Mark Twain as he is dead and cannot own a gun.] She must always have that many children on hand and efficient during the busy season, which is summer, or winter would catch the community short of food. She lays from two thousand to three thousand eggs a day, according to the demand; and she must exercise judgment, and not lay more than are needed in a slim flower-harvest, nor fewer than are required in a prodigal one, or the board of directors will dethrone her and elect a monarch [queen] that has more sense. [This last sentence was deemed "too long to process for grammatical structure". A further warning stated that long sentences can be difficult to understand. I quickly downed another whiskey and concluded that this was a fine example of perfectly circular logic.] There are always a few royal heirs in stock and ready to take her place - ready and more than eager to [anxious to] do it, although she is their own mother. [Mark used "anxious to". This is incorrect unless those "royal heirs" were of the Woody-Allen-Bee variety and had undergone psychoanalysis. Our grammar-checker (although obviously anti-Freudian and in complete sexual denial) unexplainably converted those "anxious heirs" to "eager beavers" (beavers mine). These girls are kept by themselves, and are regally fed and tended from birth. No other bees get such fine food as they get, or live such a high and luxurious life [a warning stated that "luxurious" might be confused with "luxuriant". I made no change as bees would never make this error and neither would Mark!] By consequence they are larger and longer and sleeker than their working sisters. [At this point, a note popped up suggesting to consider "there, they're or theirs" instead of "their". This suggestion is wrong headed. It killed off my remaining patience. I swung that empty whiskey bottle up in the air with full intention of braining that idiot grammar-checker before I passed out.....]