>  As I sit on my couch and crouch over dictionaries, I realize I cannot
>  vouch for the fact that "smouch" rhymed with "ouch" in Mark Twain's
>  America.  But, as implied in my recent note via e-mail pouch, I accept
>  the OED pronunciation until smOOch can be legitimately documented.
>
>  Sorry to be such a grOOch!

Well, that only shows that you can't apply logic to the pronounciation
of the English language.  How can you explain the pronounciation of the
words "though", "thought", "tough", and "through" where in each case the "ou"
(or "ough") is pronounced differently?  People, like me, who learn English
as a second language have fits over stuff like this.

I don't mean to imply that English is unique in this respect.  My own
native language (Dutch) has its own "gotchas", no doubt.

Anton