People, people, listen. This situation is rife with possibilities for a
College Prank.

I say we get John to give us this kid's email address directly. Then each of
us writes him a conciliatory email message expressing our deep concern about
him , our grave group concern that he succeed in life and not give up on it,
all just because he's been kicked out of class for being a lazy inatendant
a*s.

Do you remember being voted out of that science project you had just because
you never showed up? I do. Well, maybe that's just me. But I didn't like
school, and then I went on to succeed.

Then, each of us should go on, in a heartfelt way, expressing our
willingness to help him "in any way we can." 

It's important that all of these Mark Twain fogies each, uses the expression
"in any way we can." Cumulatively, this will drive this kid nuts. And years
from now, he will tell the story of his English 101 class and the strange
happenings that surrounded that event.

Can you imagine?

Do you remember any of your darn classes? I don't--well, maybe one.

You guys rarely respond to me---and I don't blame you. I'm nobody. But
wouldn't it be a hoot to flood this kid with unsolicited emails expressing
out deep concern for him?

It's just a deliciously funny thought.

Richard Talbot
Mark Twain Scholar
City Councilman
City of Falcon Heights, Minnesota
Yeah, I'm an Elected Official
"Ain't that the at spits?"

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Twain Forum [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Bardon,
Richard
Sent: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 1:40 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Attendance in English 101J

Along the same lines: Ashley's Lament. "When class is over, [it ended at
1 p.m.] I go home and get ready for work. I have to be at work by 3, and
I work until 9:30 or 10. When I get home, I'm too wired to study, so I
watch tv until 2 or 3 in the morning to relax. I miss class sometimes
because by the time I wake up I have to go straight to work. What am I
gonna do?"

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Twain Forum [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Ron Owens
Sent: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 11:54 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Attendance in English 101J

One more my favorite excuse?  This was given before they missed the =20
class.  It was the very first meeting of a Photo class in the college =20
evening session, and four police officers, in uniform with guns and =20
who were there with free tuition, approached me and said, "We're on =20
duty and our chief said to get our assignment and leave."
-- Ron

On Sep 28, 2010, at 9:47 PM, Michael MacBride wrote:

> At the risk of beating a dead horse... here's my favorite excuse I've
> ever been given:
> "I was coming, but I went to the bathroom in my pants."
>
> No subject, no further explanation offered.  (And, none required,
> requested, etc.)
>
> Michael
>
>
> On Tue, Sep 28, 2010 at 10:09 AM, John Davis <[log in to unmask]> =20
> wrote:
>> As of today (9/28/10), you have--with three consecutive absences--=20
>> exceede=3D
> d
>> the maximum number (four, excused and unexcused, in TTh clsseas) =20
>> permitte=3D
> d
>> in English courses, specifically English 101J, and, therefore, have =20
>> faile=3D
> d
>> the course because of excessive absences (5). =3DA0If you wish to =20
>> appeal th=3D
> e
>> attendance policy, you should immediately contact Dr. Ken Wolfskill,
>> Division Head, and present your reasons to be reinasted to the =20
>> course.
>> Official excuses for absences are to be obtained from Lloyd Lee
>> Wilson, University Registrar. =3DA0If Dr. Wolfskill rejects your =20
>> appeal, yo=3D
> u may
>> further appeal to Dr. Larry Frazier, Dean of Arts and Sciences, and =20
>> beyon=3D
> d
>> him to Dr. Danny Moore, Provost.
>>
>> --
>> John H. Davis, Ph.D.
>> Professor of English
>> Department of Language and Literature
>> Chowan University
>> Murfreesboro, North Carolina 27855
>>