JEFF GREENFIELD QUESTIONS IMPACT OF SUPPOSED TWAIN "LEAK"

Washington, DC (AP)--  Respected ABC pundit Jeff Greenfield openly
questioned today's strong statements from the Twain camp that late breaking
news about the sexual orientation of Mark Twain's daughter might have cost
him the election.  Threats from Twain supporters regarding "10,000 lawyers"
were quickly dismissed by most Washington insiders, according to Greenfield.

    "First of all, everyone knows that these sorts of trivial details have
no bearing in American politics," stated Greenfield.  "Secondly, I know this
Bush fellow, and I can assure you that he is no relation to the Bush family,
has no connections with the Republican Party, and probably did not time the
release of his announcement with any particular election moment in mind.  He
appears simply to be some English teacher with an interest in arcane
historical trivia.  Third, Twain's campaign must accept the consequences of
his career-long tendency to flip-flop.  Americans do not want a leader who
flip-flops!
    "Finally, as almost every election except for Harding's has shown,
Americans generally will not support in large numbers the candidacy of dead
people.  These are the simple facts of the 2004 election--and they are not
greatly exaggerated!" quipped the alert and bright-eyed Greenfield.
    Greenfield concluded by saying that the "whiners" in the Twain camp
should spend less time complaining about irrelevant matters, and more time
responding to the allegations of polling irregularities in both Ohio and
Missouri by a group of alleged Twain cronies, including one Henry Rogers.

Harold K. Bush, Ph.D
Saint Louis University