[ I think its a satire!  See the original BMJ article at
http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/329/7480/1447?ehom ]

Heart-Healthy 'Polymeal' Diet Includes Wine, Chocolate
Contributed by Jai A. Dennison | 17 December, 2004  20:15 GMT

"Considering the disturbing adverse effects of garlic, we do not recommend
taking the Polymeal before a romantic rendezvous," say the authors.
A daily diet of wine, dark chocolate, fruits and vegetables, almonds and
garlic -- along with fish four times a week -- could reduce heart disease
in the U.S. population by a whopping 76%, say the authors of a study
published in this week's BMJ.

Results of dining on the Polymeal were most dramatic for men, who were
projected to live on average 6.6 years longer than those not eating the
meal. Men will also gain nine additional years free of heart disease, the
study indicates, and those that do develop it will be ill for fewer years
of their lives.

Women eating the Polymeal also will live significantly longer -- nearly
five years more than women not eating the meal. They will also put off the
onset of heart disease for eight additional years.

Non-Pharmaceutical Alternative

The study authors reviewed the medical literature on how much each of the
polymeal ingredients reduces heart disease, blood pressure or cholesterol
levels. (Drinking 150ml of wine daily, for instance, reduces heart disease
by 32%.) They then calculated the combined effect of consuming all of the
ingredients and projected the potential effect across an ongoing study of
American adults.

The findings follow research last year (2003) into a 'Polypill', a
combination of drugs taken in one dose which was designed to reduce heart
disease by more than 80%. The authors of the Polymeal study were searching
for a non-pharmaceutical alternative.

In Western society we are all at risk from the causes of cardiovascular
disease, say the authors, and the diseases that accompany it. Following the
Polymeal promises to be an effective, non-pharmacological, safe and tasty
means to increasing life expectancy and reducing heart disease across the
population, they conclude.

Do Not Combine with Romance

"The Polymeal should not be combined with additional consumption of
alcohol, in order to avoid intoxication and conflicts with friends,
relatives, and authorities," say the paper's authors, Oscar H. Franco, Luc
Bonneux, Chris de Laet, Anna Peeters, Ewout W Steyerberg and Johan P.
Mackenbach.

"Furthermore, additional alcohol consumption could attenuate the effects of
the Polymeal and negatively influence other health measures. Driving motor
vehicles or performing activities that require high levels of attention
shortly after the consumption of the Polymeal should be avoided," they
recommend.

"Moreover, considering the disturbing adverse effects of garlic, we do not
recommend taking the Polymeal before a romantic rendezvous, unless the
partner also complies with the Polymeal," the authors advise.

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