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Jerry Vorpahl <[log in to unmask]>
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Mark Twain Forum <[log in to unmask]>
Fri, 9 Jun 2006 09:15:21 -0700
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Yes, nothing but heart. Here's what MT had to say about a New Hampshire

"Harris is an American  a long-legged vain, light-weight village lawyer
from New Hampshire. If he had brains in proportion to his legs, he would
make Solomon seem a failure; if his modesty equaled his ignorance, he would
make a violet seem stuck up; if his learning equaled his vanity, he would
make Von Humboldt seem as unlettered as the backside of a tomb-stone; if his
stature were proportioned to his conscience; he would be a gem for a
microscopes; if his ideas were big as his words, it would take a man three
months to walk round one of them; if an audience were to contract to listen
as long as he would talk, the audience would die of old age; and if he were
to talk until he said something, he would still be on his hind legs when the
last trumpet sounded. And would have cheek enough to wait until the
disturbance was over and go on again."

This was reprinted in an 1873 Eureka, CA newspaper. I would love to know
where it originated. Coulter couldn't have said it better.