Argghhh!!! (or however that's spelled). Non-negotiable sounds so, 
uh, non-negotiable. You want to break my heart here, Barry? I'd be 
throwing my body across the door, if we had a door. If anything I 
hamfistedly wrote in last night's fatigue fit helped prompt this 
decision, please disregard and please reconsider. I feel like Claude 
Rains running in hysterically at the end of "Mr. Smith Goes to 
Washington": "Everything that boy wrote is the truth! Expel me, not him! 
I'm the one not fit to be a Forum member." For those of you who have not 
seen this movie, trust me, it works.
    I realize that I'm as apt as anyone to put words together badly, but 
my position becomes untenable if I've cost the Forum yet another vital 
and valuable voice. The respect stuff was a bid for more tolerance of 
viewpoints, not a loss of expression.
    And, yes, Barry, you're a satirist, and a tremendously gifted one. 
But, oh, boy, I'm a newspaper wretch, a horror novelist, a TV critic, a 
comic book author and (wait for it) an itinerant stage actor. If you're 
right about the Forum being "dominated by academics whose customs and 
culture differ from my own," then there's no place on this Forum for me, 
either. I know this is no grandstand play on your part, but I really 
wish you'd reconsider.
 
Barry Crimmins wrote:
> I think we've all learned a few things from the recent discourse -- 
> not the same things, mind you, but things nonetheless. One thing that  
> has finally soaked into my head is that this forum, although not  
> formally academic according to its charter, is dominated by academics  
> whose customs and culture  differ from my own. The 'collegiality'  
> that is so necessary in academic life causes many of you to take my  
> sometimes skewed candor as an affront. To many of you, I seem  
> shocking and without boundaries. I apologize for provoking such  
> displeasure. Believe it or not, among the comedic class I am often  
> criticized for being too stuffy and highbrow -- but there's no need  
> to shine a light through *that* grate.
>
> As a satirist, I have my own boundaries. If someone annoys me for  
> long enough and shows him or herself to be disrespectful to what I  
> see as a greater good, I conjure something up to express my  
> disapproval. I try to make that point in an entertaining (if  
> curmudgeonly) fashion. What I took offense to concerning Mr. Fears  
> was his apparent need to respond to most posts in what I perceived to  
> be a rather oafish manner. To me this meant  many people were  
> probably refraining from posting all they would have, had Fears not  
> thrown up his perpetual full-court press ('tis the season!) So my  
> mouth was full of fertilizer and I said so. In the process, I made  
> myself seem to others what Fears seemed to me. To them, I had become  
> an impervious interloper, no different than the target of my complaint.
>
> One professor chose to dismiss me in front of the entire class. I  
> must say, he really forced me to restrain myself. As a satirist, I  
> have disdain for those who would banish with presumed authority. I  
> prefer to use the 'weapons of satire." (alas!) But you know what?  
> Just because this is a Mark Twain forum doesn't mean such weapons are  
> always appropriate here. And so it is time for me to show my respect  
> for this very legitimate exchange of ideas and information by  
> removing myself from it. This is no grandstand play, simply an  
> acknowledgment of the fact that I am, and always will be, a charter  
> member of the "disruptive element." Loving Mr. Clemens and relating  
> to him as a satirist is enough for me. He has been my best teacher  
> and out of respect for him, I will not waste any more of the focus of  
> his finest students, which is to say the members of this forum.
>
> I am most thankful for the many friends I have made in this group  
> since signing on in ( I think} 1994. I remain only a e-mail or  
> telephone call away. Please keep in touch. I apologize for taking so  
> long to figure out that I was out of my element and thank you all for  
> the generous tolerance you exhibited by allowing me to reach this  
> obvious conclusion at my own glacial pace.
>
> My departure is final and non-negotiable.
>
> With gratitude and sincere best wishes,
>
> Barry Crimmins
>
> PS- Should anyone be wondering, there are no known recordings of Mr.  
> Clemens's voice.
>
>