Kevin:  I vote for the butler.

If you really like a mystery, here are two more--
>
> 1. I want to know the who/what/why/how of the Stormfield cook who had a
> drunken melt-down that required the local sheriff to haul her away. Dan
> Beard headed over to see if he could help and Twain met him by the pergula
> wearing a pink kimono. They went back inside and Twain got dressed and they
> then strolled off to visit Paine, all the while with Twain ignoring the
> cook's "appalling racket" according to Beard in his autobiography.
>

I see this story as two examples of poise. Mark Twain ignoring mad cook and
Dan Beard overlooking the pink kimono.

>
> 2. Twain and reefer madness. I have a sealed one pound bundle of
> Killickinnick smoking Tobacco, ca. 1860s, the very same brand Twain took
> with him on the stage with Orion when they headed to Nevada. That brand had
> a reputation for having all kinds of non-tobacco stems, twigs, and leaves
> in
> it, and I have a friend who does drug testing on hair and fiber samples.
> Hmmm....
>

    Kevin

If I'm following this point accurately, you have to OPEN the bundle, smoke
some, then donate hair.  Is this correct?  If so, please report results.

>
>
> Arianne Laidlaw
>
   Sacramento