THE NEW, REVISED STORY OF THE BAD LITTLE BOY

Well, we all have invested much
   in defending Huckleberry Finn.
But times are changin' & S.C. will be in deeper dutch.
   Other dangers await P.C. opinion.

Fer example, when a six-year old needs a lawyer
   for pecking a girl on the cheek
you know  boys like our friend Tom Sawyer
   will be targeted by P.C. elite.

I have visions of schoolboy pranks
   being denounced on public tv
& all the whitewash on St. Pete's fences
   won't M. Twain's sins unbury.

I see pink papers at the MLA
   finding symbols in Tom Sawyer's cave.
After all, Tom led Becky astray
   in a 19th century glass ceiling way.

I can hear the fire of neo-Aunt Polly's ire
   saying Tom strung Becky along.
& when the string ran out, there is no doubt
    little Tom was wrong
    for allowing his candle

    to fizzle


    prematurely.

Mr. Dobbin's anatomy book, of course
   precurssed nude bodies on the internet uncouth.
Ah,  Mr. Twain takes us right to the source
   of misguided acceptance of youth.

So how can a boy be blamed for the sin
   of affectionating a girl
when the origins of his chauvinism begin
   written by a masculine churl.

So gird up your loins, my brothers & sons
   and prepare for learned defense
of a boy & his heirs who will soon be known
   for whitewashing a phallic  fence.

(Moral: N'er be tempted by half-eaten apples
    whether offered by woman or man.
Trust no one under 30--under 10 they have no scruples,
    we've fallen from Grace again.

    & she's P.C. P.O.'d 'bout it too.)
    --Burma Shave